She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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