perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
