I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
