He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
