Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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