after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
