Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
