I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im six kinds of drunk right now
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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