The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
