So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
