I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
