Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
