I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
