Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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