im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
soo... how was my night?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
