every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
