So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
