And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
