No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
