Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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