Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
