organizing the empties. That sober.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
