girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
