So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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