Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
