I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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