nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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