road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
