ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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