Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
