Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
