My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
