therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
