Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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