I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
