Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
