You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
