I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
