can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
