Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
