Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls

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(206): View more from Washington

I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay

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(206): View more from Washington

Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight

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(860): View more from Connecticut

It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.

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(602): View more from Arizona

It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.

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