the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
