There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
