can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
