I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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