I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
