I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
