did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
