I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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