i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
