Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
